I’m fishing again but this time with a really big net. Once again I am floating and swimming in the fish filled ocean, trying to find a new partner is crime. With some many different colorful varieties and species I find it hard to concentrate on only one.

I’ve always easily distracted by shinny objects. Yes if you hold aluminum foil up to the light i will look and momentarily be distracted.

I took an entire year off of the dating scene and my quest to find the yin to my yang. Don’t care who you are It is very difficult to tell a perfectly decent person you are just not interested and they are not a match. The process is soul sucking and exhausting. Each and every time i do my light dims for a while zapping my happy till i can recharge.

My issue is with the rules of dating? their are no black and white rules they are all muddied shades of gray, and not the fun kind of 50 shades of gray.

in my other sexual adventure arenas we had many rules.

When i was married although not a conventional marriage by any means we did have steadfast boundaries we did not cross.

When i was a swinger, swingers have very black and white rules.

When i was an escort rules were firm and set in stone to keep you safe.

Dating is daunting  colors of gray with changing rules is just so unnerving.

If your not aware I do call my men friends “fish” they are my pets in a fish bowl till they either jump out, some just die or i flush them. I suppose with my lack of knowledge  i should also call the men i date my victims. They are teaching me as time goes on i hope to get out of elementary school and move to a more educated level of being in high school.

The building blocks that most have layered in their base foundation I do admit I lack. What you may think is a no brainier or common place I have no clue it is wrong.

Can my foundation be added too and fortified….Fixed?  I don’t know it is yet to be written. 

Let me share one example with you. A few dates in  enjoying my time out with a new fish. Our date had been going great and we decided to take it to the next level.

I have learned it is stressful for a guy not knowing where the buttons are or which ones to hit or push. I tried very to be very docile, not making any big frightening movements that would scare off this Bambi.

See I am learning!

This Grown rather decent looking middle age man. Did not do anything. Not a lick, Not a finger, Not a wet hot kiss. He just starred into my eyes and expected me to become aroused. I’m not sure who he is used to being with but i would assume making sure your partner would be at least wet would be high on the list of must haves and must do’s.

The only man that can make me CUM just by looking at me would be AQUAMAN Jason Momoa I’m pretty sure he did that shit thru the big screen. I can only say is WOW!

After i finished writing my grocery list in my head. I do what comes natural for me…

I grabbed one of my vibrators.

Yes, I was told and now know this is called bad behavior (in dating). I will refrain until they leave since i learned male feelings are fragile in this new arena. In my past this was completely acceptable and well with in the rules of normal.  Sorry My Bad!

Rebecca, still in elementary school on this new dating journey, Filling my bowl with more fish to flush, in Love with my vibrators always and forever, starting a Go fund for a cyber lover.